


Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

by genderwitch (orphan_account)



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, No real warnings, it is indeed the bane of my existence, no I don't have an explanation, this was deleted the first time I wrote it so I had to write it twice, yes this is about cowboy sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/genderwitch
Summary: Our dynamic duo are investigating an old ghost town in the Colorado mountains, and Shane decides to dress up for the occasion, much to the exasperation of his co-host.





	Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

**Author's Note:**

> this was written as a fulfillment to a promise I made to someone ages ago, and has been haunting ( ;) ) me ever since. go blame @softboybergara, he's the true culprit here.
> 
> as per always don't take this too seriously, it's just a bit o fun!!

"We're here at the historic Buckeye Saloon located in current day ghost town Animas Forks.”

 

“Very ghost-y, and indeed a town! You really outdid yourself with this one Ryan.”

 

“Oh shut up, don’t act like you’re not excited. I know you live for this Old West business.” Ryan fixed Shane with an already exhausted glare, knowing it would do nothing to stop the snarky interjections. “Now we’re here to investigate what many visitors to the town have dubbed the ‘Animas Banshee’. The origins of this howling spirit are rumored to be a young bar-”

 

Ryan’s voice stopped in its tracks as soon as he noticed movement next to him. He watched Shane pull something from out of the equipment bag next to him, making eye contact as he slowly lifted the item towards his head. The groan of exasperation that left Ryan’s lips as soon as he saw the mystery item was a tan-hide cowboy hat perched atop Shane's ridiculously large head echoed throughout the dusty old saloon, molded floorboards creaking as if to laugh at the situation. Two fingers came to pinch at the bridge of Ryan’s nose, white-knuckled.

 

“Shane,  **what** is that?” Shane’s eyes lit up at the opportunity to show off his newest purchase.

 

“Why, Deputy Ryan, this here's my Sheriff hat! I can't go ‘round apprehendin’ dastardly fellas without it, you take me for some sorta idjit?” The in character response was followed by a posturing Ryan could only describe as cocky country: shoulders squared, hips pushed forward and thumbs hooked in his jean belt loops, a squinting smoulder adorning his face.

 

“Please tell me you don't plan on wearing that during the investigation...” Ryan pleads, already knowing the answer if he’s being honest with himself. Shane seemed to take mock offense, letting out an indignant scoff and allowing false hurt wash over his bemused features.

 

“Of course I do Ryan! I'm a true method actor. Plus, this wouldn't be the first time we used costumes to make your little ghosties feel at home.”

 

Ryan hated that he was right, remembering the cheap and ill-fitting pilgrim costumes they wore in Salem. The scratchy felt-like material had done very little to protect from the freezing environment and Ryan had wondered if the quick clothing change would even be worth the footage. He spared one more wary glare at Shane, trying not to give in and laugh when Shane tipped his hat and gave a dramaticized wink. It wasn’t a bad look. The wide-brimmed hat atop soft messy hair, the thick denim jeans held up by a brown leather belt, it almost worked. Not that Ryan would ever say that out loud.

 

“ **Fine.** But if this becomes too much of a distraction from the investigation we’re gonna have serious words.” Shane grinned, triumphant, and pretended to spit a glob of tobacco onto the frozen ground.

 

“You got it, Deputy.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The investigation moved forward as per usual, the pair moving throughout the town building to decrepit building. Other than Ryan nearly jumping into Shane's arms when they came across a rattler, and Shane's repeated comments of ‘if I get tetonis from all this rust I  **will** sue you’, it moved along without a hitch. Ryan was even fairly certain he'd caught some convincing EVP’s this time around, and Shane rejoiced when he realized they would not be using the spirit box on this particular venture.

 

Despite the relative success of the shoot so far, Ryan was becoming more and more frustrated at how, well,  _ frustrated  _ Shane’s little act was making him. It was hilarious watching him parade around all bowlegged, spouting off nonsense in what was possibly the funniest accent Ryan had heard Shane put on thus far. But every once in a while the gimmick got under his skin. Especially when the act was toned down to something almost casual, like Shane responding with monotone snark as he usually does but accompanied by a saccharine Southern drawl that dripped off his tongue like molasses. Or when the hat atop his head (that was looking exceedingly like it belonged there the longer Shane wore it) tilted a bit too far forward, shifting down the gentle slope of his forehead, and he used two fingers to slowly push it back up, allowing a few locks of soft hair to escape and land messily around the perimeter of his face. Something about this affectation becoming such a natural extension of Shane was unsettling, and whether that was in a good or bad sense Ryan couldn’t discern.

 

Ryan did his best to push the niggling thought out of his head. Instead, he focused on turning off his body cam and letting the crew know this had been their last shooting stop before setting up for the night. Ryan thanked whatever gods there were that one lodging building had made it through the years in good enough shape to be considered safe to sleep in tonight. He’d be damned if he were to be sleeping out in this cold. 

 

Upon approaching the dilapidated building before him Ryan let out a shudder. It didn’t matter how many times he and Shane stayed overnight at a haunted location, letting his guard down low enough to slip into what little sleep he would be afforded was still nervewracking. Ryan jumped slightly at the feeling of a large, warm hand coming down gently upon his shoulder, kneading the skin there through the layers currently keeping him warm in a comforting gesture. No words needed to be said, the exchange familiar as Ryan raised his gaze to Shane’s face and gave him a small smile, one that said ‘I’m okay’. Shane simply nodded and moved forward to push open the rotting door before them, holding it open to allow Ryan and the crew to cross the threshold into what might have been the mustiest building Ryan had ever stepped foot in. And that was saying a lot in the realm of his line of work.

 

The stale air settled around Ryan as if covering him in the layer of dust and grime coating the wooden fixtures that surrounded him. The entrance hall felt oppressive, a low rickety ceiling making it harder for Ryan to keep his calm.  _ It’s just another dingy old building, the spirit has never been spotted here, you’ll be fine, _ he rationalized to himself.  _ Deep breaths. _

 

The warm hand from just before reappeared, this time rubbing soothing circles into the dip of his lower back. The touch grounding him, Ryan sighed, allowing the logical part of his consciousness (which sounded annoyingly like Shane, he’d come to realize) rationalize the situation. It was just another old building, just another shoot. And Shane was here, he knew he was safe when Shane was here. Ryan allowed the calming hand against his back to guide him forward, towards the shoddy door leading to the room they had been permitted to stay the night in. 

 

Rusted hinges protested against what was likely the first movement they’d seen in decades, aside from the cleaning Ryan hoped had happened before they arrived. He turned and gave a quick wave to the camera crew behind him, watching them leave and inevitably drive to a real hotel with a nice bed and an actual heating unit. He reminded himself that he signed up for this and had no one to blame but himself for the restless night ahead of him, but that didn’t stop him from cursing any and every factor that had led him here. 

 

Ryan and Shane observed their room, Shane letting out a content “hm” and stepping forward to set his night bag next to the large, worn-looking bed in the center of the room. The building was much too old to have any real heating system, instead providing a modest fireplace near the foot of the bed. Ryan watched as Shane crouched down to ignite the logs that had been placed in the fireplace for them. Subtle warmth began to radiate throughout the room as the logs caught fire. Ryan moved to stand by the flames, allowing the heat to sink into his muscles. 

 

Shane stood from his squat, grumbling about “my old man knees couldn’t handle the West”, and strode towards the bed, reaching into his night bag and retrieving his pyjamas. Ryan figured he should do the same, the anxiety-inducing night causing exhaustion to settle in his bones. He started removing his layers, shedding his coat and placing it on the chair sat next to the door. Next came his shirt, the thin material ruffling his hair as it passed over his head, which was already unkempt due to the beanie he had been wearing all night. As soon as the last layer adorning his torso had been loosely folded and placed on the chair atop his jacket Ryan felt a warm chest against his back. 

 

Soft kisses were being placed on the side of his neck, making their way down his shoulder as two large hands came to circle around his waist. Ryan leaned back into the warm embrace, letting his mind blank as he welcomed the comforting touches. He turned in Shane’s arms, coming to face his boyfriend. He had turned with the expectation of a kiss, which was not technically a wrong assumption, but what he hadn’t expected was to see Shane smiling down at him still adorning the ridiculous hat. Shane lowered his head, making a muffled surprised sound when he felt a hand cover his mouth and push his face back.

 

“No, you are  **not** making a move on me wearing  **that** ,” Ryan stated, flicking the wide brim jutting out from Shane’s head. He let out an indignant huff when all that earned him was a chuckle and a look that very much said  _ I’m going to win this, and we both know it _ . Shane’s grin grew predatory as he dragged a solitary finger down the center of Ryan’s chest, sending unwelcome chills down his spine, gathering near the pooling warmth in the pit of his stomach. Hungry eyes raked down Ryan’s torso, hidden almost completely by the shadow the large hat atop Shane’s head cast.

 

“I don’t know where you get off thinking I’ll give in to whatever weird kinky cowboy bullshit you have in mind but I’m going to bed, I’m fucking exhausted from dragging your ass around this ghost town all day.” As hard as he had tried to end his sentence with a tone of finality, the futility of putting up this front of indifference was just as apparent to him as it was to Shane. The elder man only tsked and lowered himself to perch on the edge of the rickety bed, the tightness of his jeans displaying the strong muscle of his thighs. Ryan’s determination to stand his ground wavered as the faux-strong eye contact he had been keeping broke when the clink of a belt buckle being undone sounded through the room. He watched as Shane slowly and methodically removed the leather strap from the jean loops previously caging it, folding it in half and laying it gently across his lap as he toed of his shoes and socks, the continued undressing a clear show if his motives.

 

“Now now Ryan, do you honestly think you’ll be able to fall asleep while you’re this keyed up? I think we both know you’ll be needin’ some help calmin’ that wild mind of yours,” Shane muttered, the affectation all but caressing Ryan’s ears. “And I’m assumin’ you’ll be wantin’ some help with that,” he stated, pointing the accessory at Ryan.

 

It took a few moments for Ryan to register what he was gesturing to with his belt, the slice of the heavy leather through the air being all too distracting. It was pointed at the obvious (to Shane, Ryan had been oblivious to his own state up until this point, too wrapped up in the natural ebb and flow of their banter) bulge in his own jeans, pulsing heat and twitching muscle betraying his feigned indignation. Shane merely cocked an eyebrow and patted the bedding next to him, wearing an annoyingly triumphant smirk. The quiet “fuck you, Shane” sounded weak even to Ryan as he made his way to plop down onto the edge of the bed, feeling prickling heat crawl up the back of his neck as the solid belt buckle shone in his peripheral vision. 

 

“Hands.”

 

Ryan looked at Shane with a confused expression on his face, the question of what he meant on the tip of his tongue before he understood the demand. He turned his torso towards Shane, extending his arms out palm upwards. Long fingers encircled his wrists, turning them so Ryan’s inner forearms were facing eachother, and carefully wrapped the smooth belt around them. A soft gasp left his lips as Shane tugged on the strap, tightening the strip of leather enough to truly restrain any movement, but not tight enough to cut off circulation. Shane gently lowered Ryan’s wrists to his own lap, allowing his fingertips to run softly over the denim fabric strained by his erection. 

 

“What do you need tonight, Ryan?” Shane asked in that gentle, hushed tone he always used when checking in on him. It was a tone no one got to hear but him, and he loved it. He knew Shane was taking a pause from the scene, that he was checking in on Ryan and genuinely asking what he needed before he did anything. Ryan knew he could say anything, could say he just needed to go to bed, and Shane would smile, tuck him in and give him a sweet kiss on the forehead.

 

But tonight he needed his mind to be void, needed someone to take over and think for him. So he let Shane’s quiet voice wash over him as he tried to put into words what he wanted.

 

“I think...I think I just need my mind to be blank,” he said, tone low but sure. This wasn’t the first time Shane had helped him tune everything out. Shane nodded and gave him a proud smile.

 

“Thank you, baby. Now, lie down right there in the center for me.” Ryan did as Shane asked, his movements a bit awkward with his bound wrists but finding a comfortable position on his back, his head and shoulder propped against the pillows pushed against the headboard.

 

“Is it okay for me to take these off?” Shane asked, tugging at the hem of Ryan’s jeans and underwear. He nodded, allowing him to pull the fabric down his legs, the cool air hitting his length making his thighs tense. Shane slowly removed Ryan’s shoes as well, placing small kisses to his ankles. Ryan watched with heated eyes as Shane stood, shedding his own jeans and briefs, and leaned over him to grab a pillow from beside his head. Shane tapped Ryan’s hip, the smaller of the pair understanding and lifting his hips up so the pillow could be slipped beneath them, propping him up a bit farther into the air. Shane leaned over the side of the bed, fishing around the duffel on the ground until he found what he was looking for with a small but triumphant “ha!” and pulling out a bottle of travel-sized lube. Ryan flushed as he watched Shane drizzle some on his fingers, warming it between them and leaning forward to place gentle kisses and teasing nips along the V of his hips, narrowly avoiding his now weeping cock.

 

Ryan had almost forgotten the hat atop Shane’s head, the adornment being of no consequence until the brim of it poked into his lower stomach, blocking his view from what Shane was doing. His mind had already begun fogging, soft touches and gentle commands taking over his thoughts as he slipped deeper and deeper. He let out a hiss when he felt a slick finger just barely dip into his hole, the familiar stretch a heady reminder of what was to come. His wrists flexed under their restraints, his fingers itching to reach down and move that damned hat so he could watch Shane as he continued to kiss and bite the sensitive skin of his hips. The finger at his entrance finally began breaching him as Shane moved upward and took the head of Ryan’s cock into his mouth, flicking his tongue roughly over the leaking slit. Ryan let out a surprised yelp. He watched as Shane pushed the hat farther up his head, unobstructing the view of him suckling sweetly on Ryan’s length, the sight only intensifying the feeling of a long finger pushing deeper and deeper into him until the bottom knuckle met his rim. 

 

A second finger prodded at his entrance, pushing steadily against the resistance there until it pushed into him, the burn of the stretch more than welcome as Ryan pushed himself down onto the digits, urging Shane to move faster. Shane just chuckled around the girth of his cock, the vibrations shooting through Ryan and only serving to make him want more. Shane brought his free hand up to pin down Ryan’s hips, taking his length deeper down his throat until his nose was touching wiry hairs and soft skin, using the shock of pleasure to add in a third finger, groaning at how tight Ryan was around him still. Whimpers and pleas sounded out above him, the man beneath him squirming as best as he could, clenching around Shane’s fingers and pulling them deeper.

 

“Please, f- oh Christ please,” Ryan panted. “I’m ready, promise, just please-.” Shane gently retracted his fingers from Ryan, pulling off of his cock and watching the way his hole gaped and clenched, wanting so desperately to be filled again. Shane settled himself between Ryan’s shaking legs, running a soothing hand over his stomach as the younger man whined and gasped, locking his heels behind Shane’s lower back. Ryan felt the blunt tip of Shane’s cock press against his rim, just barely pushing past the resistance there and stopping. His head was swimming with thoughts of want and need, and a frustration that Shane was not already taking him hard and deep like he wanted. That train of thought was shattered immediately as Shane wrapped one hand around the belt restraining Ryan’s wrists and  _ pulled _ , splitting Ryan open as he slid quickly down the bed and onto Shane’s cock. He allowed no time to adjust as he kept one hand around the restraints, the other holding Ryan’s hip in a bruising grip as he fucked into him with quick, shallow strokes, angling his hips until he recognized the shudder and gasp signaling he’d found what he was looking for. 

 

Ryan’s eyes rolled back as he finally got what he wanted, the shock of being so full, and so suddenly, rendering him speechless aside from punched out gasps in time with the bruising pace set inside of him. His cock, still wet with Shane’s spit, slapped against his stomach, red and angry. He was already so close, the command Shane had so suddenly and strongly taken doing things to him. He was lost in the slide of hard heat inside of him, shock after shock of electric pleasure shooting through him as Shane repeatedly grazed his prostate. The beginnings of his orgasm were rapidly approaching, his toes curling and teeth being bared at the almost overwhelming pleasure. 

 

And then, Shane was pulling out of Ryan, giving his neglected cock a few quick pumps as he pushed himself away from him. The whine Shane got in return made him chuckle between gasping breaths.

 

“I’m just changin’ positions, darlin’. Don’t you worry your pretty little head. Sit up for me.” 

 

Despite the blankness taking over his mind, Ryan immediately obeyed the command, sitting up as quickly as he could without the use of his arms. Shane reclined back against the headboard, patting his lap. Ryan understood immediately, straddling him with shaking thighs and positioning himself just above his cock, wrapping his arms around Shane’s neck on a whim. Shane gave him a devious smile, resting one hand on Ryan’s hip and guiding him downwards as his other hand held his length in place. 

 

The pair both let out long sighs as Ryan slowly sunk down onto Shane, the slick sound of sweat and lube filthy in his ears. The intensity of Shane’s eyes on him only egged him on as he lifted himself up once and quickly dropped back down, allowing gravity to assist in setting a quick and brutal pace. Shane’s hands were grabbing anything they could reach, gripping at thick thighs, scratching at sweat-slick skin, tugging at disheveled hair. Ryan was lost in the feeling of his oncoming orgasm, letting the feeling of fullness wash over him as he watched Shane writhe below him, hips bucking in time with Ryan’s movements. 

 

“You look so pretty, Ry, fuck. If you could see yourself now, so flushed and sweaty. You’re so good to me, baby,” Shane praised, stroking reverent hands down the skin of Ryan’s torso and reveling in the way his taut muscles twitched beneath his fingers. He suddenly had an idea, remembering the hat setting on his head. Shane reached above him, removed the hat, and placed it on Ryan. 

 

“Look at you, ridin’ me so pretty like this. I won’t last much longer if you keep lookin’ so fucked out, Deputy.” Shane reached a hand down to stroke at Ryan’s hardness, tugging in time with his thrusts into him, and watched in awe as he came undone under his hands.

 

“Fuck, Shane! I-,” and Ryan was cumming across Shane’s hand, nearly sobbing with relief as the pleasure overwhelmed him, throwing his head back and crying out as Shane stroked him through it, working him until he was absolutely drained. He continued to fuck him through the sensitivity, not lasting much longer than Ryan and cumming with bitten off curses and a low groan, riding out the last waved of his orgasm before stilling. 

 

Ryan’s muscles were heavy, weighted down with the energy he’d just expended, and his mind felt clear. Despite the heaviness of his eyelids, he watched Shane come down from his post-orgasmic high, seeing a lazy grin slowly stretch its way across his face. Shane’s hands came to draw random along the skin of Ryan’s hips, slow and calming movements allowing his muscles to relax. Soft breaths and little, giddy chuckles were the only sound piercing the air aside the crackling of the logs.

 

“Hey Ry, I just thought of something,” Shane mumbled, throat hoarse and voice low. Despite the intimate position they remained in, Ryan sat in Shane’s lap, a cock softening inside of him,  Ryan knew whatever Shane was about to say would be completely inappropriate. The shit-eating grin adorning his face did nothing to quell Ryan’s suspicions.

 

Shane extended his hand towards Ryan’s face, flicking the brim of the novelty hat on his head much like Ryan had earlier.

 

“Save a horse, ride a cowboy.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you've made it this far you're braver than any u.s. marine, come yell at me about ghosts at @buzzfeedunsolvednetwork on tumblr!! yeehaw!


End file.
